When Everyone Stopped Crying.

 

Have you ever felt helpless, worthless, not needed? No? Me either. But watching a person collapse into udder self-pity and self-loathing is heart wrenching. Knowing that on the inside they are tearing themselves apart hurts me down to my soul. I use to care with every ounce of my being for this person. Every fiber of my body wanted to reach out and cradle her face and wipe away her tears. But I think something snapped and I no longer care. Harsh, right?  That is my life. I can never find middle ground. It’s either the far left or the far right. She used to occupy so much of my time and energy, but now I feel dismissive and standoffish. Unable to bring my self to care, because do you want to know something? She doesn’t care about me. Read More

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I am…

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I am the product of two amazing people, of the love they have shown me and the experiences they have given me. I am the product of an amazing support system and encouragement. I am the product of years of team sports and the lesson of leadership. I am the product of religion and morals. I am the product of the outdoors and scrapped knees as a child. I am the product of the middle child experience. I am the product of a stable life.

I am the product of nit picking comments and shut downs. I am the product of no friends and fake friends. I am the product of social misdemeanors. I am the product of whispers behind my back. I am the product of the feeling of not being good enough. I am the product of insecurities and flaws. I am the product of failure and falling short. I am the product of lost hope. I am the product of heartlessness. I am the product of having to watch someone unravel. I am the product of being ignored. I am the product of terror and stress.

I am the product of the many. I am a product of society.

I have been shaped by everything that has ever touched my life for the good or bad. They have bundled up inside me, writing the pages of my life. You have to stop and think, what if that hadn’t happened to me, would my path change? Would I find my self in a different setting, surrounded by different people, all with different experiences? And then I think I’m where I’m suppose to be. I was shaped along the way and have ended up where I’m suppose to be and have a plan of where I’m suppose to go.

SoCo Farmers Market

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Honestly I think this is one of the best ways I’ve spent a Saturday morning. I took this little adventure with my mom who can definitely back me up in saying that we are for sure going back. To start off the people are super down to earth and friendly. They are doing things like this because they love it and they want to put their amazing products out there for people to try. The goods themselves were amazing. The produce looked delicious and I’m not really a vegetable person. But the market had such a variety of things for sale. From meat (not shown above), to fish, to fresh baked bread, to plants and herbs. The atmosphere was laid back with a guy in the corner playing his guitar. I think the best part was the feeling of excitement which sounds a little weird when talking about buying carrots and bread. But the whole ride home we kept talking about why we had never gone before and planning the next trip back. I am now a huge fan of farmers markets and supporting local business and local growers.

SoCo Farmers Market

3315 Hyland Ave.

Costa Mesa, CA

Opens at 9 am

High Speed Life

Honestly this post is spot on. Everything about it rings true in day to day life and all that is said should be taken into consideration when evaluating our own lives. We move through life at such an unimaginable pace that isn’t very healthy, and she captures all that within this post. Definetly worth the read.

DON'T BE FOOLED BY YOUR EMPTINESS, THERE'S SO MUCH MORE ROOM FOR HAPPINESS

image1Times are changing. This generation seems to have very little respect for alone time. Everyone seems to be going 200 mph in life, mind you some with no drugs to even influence that. We live in a high pace world due to all of the hustle and bustle going on. Whether it’s taking your kids to soccer practice, getting to work/school, or just trying to catch up with life, like me.

When we live in a high pace society there is very little time for mistakes. This is why I feel like so many people are afraid to screw up because they’re aware that one little mistake will ruin their whole routine. But how are we supposed to slow down? Focus on the important things. Think about the long term effects that stress and over doing yourself will do to you. Focus on your health and family. Those are the…

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Where is the Love?

The opposite of Love is hate. So if you only Love the ones you choose, the only other option is to hate those other people. I’m not saying its a violent hate, it could be that you just don’t care for them. It’s hard to not have a selective Love, hard to Love those outside of your immediate family and friends. Except it’s worth a try. Spread the good vibes of Love. You could just offer a smile while you pass someone on the street. That could be enough to make their day. Being kind will have a ripple effect. Love spreads slowly but it can be more powerful than hate. Read More

Help Wanted.

We start out life helpless, but that doesn’t mean we need to continue helpless. You can find strength in yourself. Be the motivation that gets yourself out of bed each morning. The more you find inner strength instead of putting your faith into others, the less likely you are to be let down. I don’t want to be helpless. But I’ll help myself. At some point it’s time to put your big boy pants on and get things done for yourself. Having someone hold your hand the whole way isn’t going to give yourself any room to grow. Read More

I Believe…

I believe in the death of emotions. The feelings we had as little kids have long since passed away and been replaced. The same way the emotions we may be having now will die and be replaced by those that will carry us through adulthood. Emotions just die. Happiness and sadness can fade away at the blink of any eye, to be replaced by something else. When emotions die they don’t leave gaping holes in our personalities. They are replaced by something that will change us for the good or the bad. Read More

The Gun is Loaded.

What is in your heart? I try to find at least an ounce of good in people and sometimes that is hard. Especially when I’m not even sure I’m a good person. I try, trust me. Everyday I strive to be better than what I started the day as. Every word that comes out of my mouth feels like a loaded gun though. And one day, that will go off. Or maybe I’ll go off. Either way I’ll be left in a hole too big to climb out of. Maybe that means I won’t hurt anyone else. Things just come out of my mouth before I have time to even register the fact that I even thought to say that. Once it’s out there you can’t take it back. It hangs in the air, almost mocking me for my carelessness. I wish I could grab it and shove it in my pocket. Hoping no one heard it. Read More